


Forever's Downside

by Oaklin



Series: Forever Everything [39]
Category: Canadian Professional Wrestling International, Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Hijinks & Shenanigans, Kayfabe Compliant, M/M, Swearing, and Franky The Mobster, but funny to watch, melodramtic overacting, mentions of Kevin Steen, mentions of Pierre Carl Ouellet, obligatory Christopher Daniels warning, possibly, smart babies, stealth angst, stealth romance, that is only half serious, that is super cringy and embarrassing, that weird flirting that AJ and Daniels do, weird meta shit, who got the fuck out of there before all the bullshit started
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 04:46:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10072481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oaklin/pseuds/Oaklin
Summary: bby!Sami and bby!Beef set out on an adventure to catch a thief and save the day!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello!
> 
> So, right off the bat, this particular installment is completely ridiculous. Not that the rest of the series isn't, just that this particular part is really fucking weird. I'm not going to make it any less weird either, because I kinda like this. It's like they are hashing out their onscreen characters in their backstage interactions with each other. Which is weird, because this is an in-universe series. Listen, I got a little meta. So sue me.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy the strange, pseudo identity porn. It's odd and confusing!

Sami stumbles a bit, straying slightly off his course. He rightens himself after a moment of flailing, setting his feet down carefully as he starts to move forward again.

Shuffling more carefully down the hall now than before, Sami moves toward the end of the hall. He arrives at his destination and shoulders the door open, scooting into the room and depositing the cumbersome box on the table.

Beef looks up from the mess of cloth in his hands, grinning big at Sami.

“Hey champ! Have any trouble getting into Joe’s locker?”

Sami clicks his tongue, waggling an admonishing finger at Beef as he reaches into the box and retrieves the cupcake Franky threw at him as he and Pierre left for the evening.

“Beef, there is not enough justice in this whole world that could entice me to take anything out of Joe’s locker without his permission,” Sami says, deciding belatedly to save the cupcake for later and instead pulling the banana he found in Beef’s jacket out of the box and snapping the stem.

“Besides,” Sami mutters around the fruit in his mouth, “Joe already left.”

Beef opens his mouth, looking slightly affronted. Before Beef can get his words out though, he turns fully toward Sami and squints, looking at the cupcake on the table suspiciously.

“What the hell? Since when did we go on a lunch break? Sami, quit slacking!”

Sami pouts, the effect no doubt lessened by the fact that he was still chewing.

“Franky gave me a cupcake as he and Pierre left. Although I’m pretty sure that he just did that as a bribe so that I wouldn’t call him or Pierre when our phone thief hunting inevitably goes awry," Sami pauses, chewing for a moment, before conceding, "I mostly know that because Pierre said as much, while giving me that stern face of his.”

Beef snorts at that, lifting the cloth in his hands up. He rips it straight down the middle, the sound harsh and loud in the muted space of what Sami can only assume is one of Gino’s unused workshops.

“You got the **Serious Mom Face** huh? Tough luck,” Beef says over the tearing.

Sami nods, but Beef isn’t done apparently, carrying on as if he hadn’t stopped talking, raising his voice over the obnoxiously loud ripping sound.

“I fucking _wish_ people would give **me** cupcakes as bribes, to keep me from blabbing about their sexual escapades. Sexcapades? Escasuals?,” Beef pauses a bit, then shakes himself out of the thought, a slightly grossed out look crossing his face, “Uh, although the down sides might outweigh the benefits in certain scenarios.”

Beef seems to contemplate it for a moment, before seeming to give up, shrugging his shoulders and giving Sami a sassy wink, “Still though, free food, am I right?”

He grins at Sami over the now tattered fabric, though the smile fades once again.

Sami can practically see the wheels turning in Beef’s brain, as the other’s though process turns to a new subject.

“Is that my pocket banana?”

Sami stops chewing and looks down at the object in his hands, blinking.

“Maybe?” Sami hedges, contemplating making a run for it with the pilfered fruit.

Beef levers an accusatory stare Sami’s way, jabbing a militant finger at him.

“You are the absolute worst! That was mine! You are no better than the phone thief! When did you start stealing things? Just exactly how much time have you been spending around Kevin lately anyway-”

-Excuse you-

Sami grips the banana, resisting the urge to throw the innocent fruit at Beef's face.

Beef pauses, looking briefly thunderstruck, as if he had just discovered the meaning of life.

“Oh shit. Why didn’t that occur to me before-”

Sami is tempted to take another bite just to spite Beef, but gestures at Beef with the yellow goodness instead.

“Screw you! Kevin isn’t a thief, you unbelievable jackass-”

Beef shakes his head, looking uncharacteristically serious, though Sami finds it hard to focus on that, in his indignant loyalty.

-Beef can be a jerk about a lot of things-

-But-

Too far.

“No, no,” Beef says, closing his eyes and dropping the fabric on the floor, shaking his head, as if annoyed at _Sami’s_ inability to focus on the task at hand, “I just realized what **_exactly_ ** has been going on-”

Sami makes a face, trying to draw his belligerently defensive thoughts back around in an effort to hear Beef out.

“What are you even-”

Sami’s words are cut off abruptly as a loud, angry squeal echoes thought the hallway outside the closed door. Sami turns just in time to get an earful of muted curse words and a brief cacophony of irate scuffling.

“Hey, that sounds kind of like-” Sami begins, starting to take a step toward the door, half out of curiosity and half out of exasperation.

-Can anything _else_ go wrong today?-

“Fuck!” Sami blinks and turns around, confused at the hushed, shout-whispering Beef is doing. Sami opens his mouth, but Beef is ignoring him for the moment, hurling the fabric up on the table with an urgency that seems entirely unnecessary.

“Beef?”

“Shut up and take this!” Beef growls under his breath, leaping up on to the table, reaching forward to drag the box toward himself as he settles on his knees.

Sami fumbles to catch the cell phone that comes flying at him. He barely prevents it from crashing to the ground, closing his fingers around it at the very last second.

“What-?”

Beef hunches down over the pile of distractions on the table, cradling them under his body, like they are his inanimate children.

For some reason, Beef’s desperate, baseless fear makes Sami jittery.

-Here we go, damn it-

“They _can’t_ know that we are on to them!” Beef hisses out, reaching out and scooping all the scattered debris on the table toward him and attempting to spread himself out over as much space as possible in order to hide the evidence of the schemes.

Sami reaches up, nervously scratching at his cheek, glancing furtively at the door, where the boisterous voices are distinctly getting closer.

“What do you want me to do?! They’re literally out in the hallway, I don’t-" Sami stammers, but Beef’s frantic whisper-screeching halts his frantic stream of consciousness.

“I don’t care **what** you do! Just do _**something**_! At the very least, take our last hope and just save yourself!" Beef pleads, reaching out and running a loving hand over the phone clutched in Sami’s fingers before hunkering back down over his pile of props, like a dragon guarding his hoard.

Sami clutches the phone to his chest, glancing at the door before turning to give Beef one last, determined look.

“I’ll go distract them? There is no exit to this room, but maybe I can lead them away or-” Sami says, contemplating there options as he moves slowly toward the door, carefully slipping the precious cargo into his pants pocket as he goes.

“Just do something! I don’t care what! _Anything_ would be just **fucking perfect!** ” Beef retorts in a soft shriek, his voice strained as he almost tips the box over and has to scramble to keep it from crashing to the floor.

Sami nods resolutely, turning and heading for the door. Beef calls out to him just a he grasps the door knob. Sami turns, tempted to go back and help, but knowing he **has** to do this.

Or else all is _lost_.

-Wait, what?-

Hush.

Beef gives him an awkward salute, almost sending half the things on the table crashing to the floor as he does so, his eyes full of affection, his voice strained with emotion.

“You were the best wrestler I **ever** knew Sami! You go out there and do me **_proud_** , you hear?"

Sami finds that he can’t say anything, the lump in his throat too big to speak past. Instead he just reaches up, gives Beef a valiant salute in return, smiling one last time at his dear friend, before turning back to the door and steeling himself for what is to come.

Sami slides the door open as quickly as he can, slamming it closed as fast as humanly possible before he has even completely made it out of the room. He winces as a crash and a sting of broken cures emanates from the room.

“Oh! My allergies must be kicking up again!” Sami exclaims to no one, reaching up and hacking into his fist, even as more cursing filters through the door his back is pressed against.

-Great-

Shut up.

“Heya Sami!”

Sami cringes a bit, realizing belatedly, that in his haste to close the door, he shut it on Beef’s jacket.

Which Sami was still _wearing_.

Meaning he is now **stuck** here.

-Trapped in between a _**panicking Beef**_ and _Christopher Daniels_ -

Shit.

“Saa-miiii~!”

Sami cringes again, as a sinewy arm drops down around his shoulders, pushing him forward and down. He reaches out with scrambling hands, trying to keep his back firmly against the door even as he desperately clutches for a supporting hold on something.

Thankfully, another arm appears in his blurry, panicked vision. Sami relaxes with a gust of air as AJ clamps a steadying hand around his forearm. Sami smiles gratefully at the other wrestler, getting a bright grin in return.

“Easy there kid, don’t hurt yourself,” AJ looks over at Chris, a stern look on his face, “Don’t be such a jerk Daniels. You can’t just ambush people like that with out giving them some time to react.”

Chris rolls his eyes, “You are such a drama whore JJ,” Sami fights the urge to chuckle at their bickering, nodding as earnestly as he can when Chris shakes him and gives him a slightly pleading look, “Sami totally gets me, don’t you Sami? You understand me and my overly affectionate needs, right?”

Sami abruptly stops nodding, turning to give Chris a narrow-eyed look that seems to halt Chris’ babbling. A confused look crosses Chris’ face as Sami squints at him, but before he can say anything, Sami blurts out his suspicion, unable to shake the thought once it has occurred to him.

“Was that an innuendo?” Sami bites out, reaching over and jabbing an accusing finger into Chris’ chest.

Chris’ eyes shift to the side and Sami rolls his eyes skyward as he gets full-blown puppy dog eyes in response. A snort emanates form his left and Sami turns, cocking his head as AJ takes his hand off Sami’s arm. Sami opens his mouth, but AJ just points at Chris, looking at him with perhaps more seriousness than Sami would think that this particular situation deserved.

“You’re asking for a whole world of shit there, Daniels,” AJ quips, turning away and hoping up on a nearby splintered looking table, plopping his bag down and jerking the zipper open, “In case you have forgotten, even joking about a _**certain someone’s**_ , _special certain someone_ could quite possibly get you smeared halfway to Japan and back.”

It’s Sami’s turn to choke out a laugh, as Chris’ eyes go comically wide and he jerks his arm off Sami like Sami is made of molten steel. Sami straightens up, looking over at AJ in confusion. AJ says nothing, just pulls a bag of chips out of his duffel, tearing the seal open with a distinctly satisfied look on his face.

“Uh? Chris are you-?” Sami starts, but cuts off abruptly as he gets grabbed again, this time Chris plants both hands on Sami’s shoulders and shakes him, a tinge of desperation in his wild eyes, as they dart around furiously, like he is looking for someone.

“You won’t tell right?” Chris blurts, whispering, his voice slightly strained, his grip much softer than before, like he is afraid Sami will break if he squeezes him too hard.

-Yeah-

-That is what Daniels is afraid of-

“I-huh-” Sami stumbles over his words, shooting AJ baffled looks that are only met with an odd amalgamation of triumph, smug superiority, and glee.

“No please! C’mon, I didn’t mean it. You know I didn’t mean it. It was just a joke. The last time I checked, being unfunny wasn’t a death sentence in Canada, right?” Chris whines rather loudly, giving Sami another shake, even as he leans forward, dropping his head down on Sami’s shoulder and making what Sami assumes are supposed to be very pitiful sobbing noises.

-Well, he's got that shit down pat at least-

“I’m not going to kill you Chris. I don’t even understand what is happening,” Sami screws up his face, trying to work out where this particular overreaction came from.

“I mean, you flirt with everybody, so-”

Chris jerks up suddenly, his eyes going wide again, this time sparkling with hope, “Right! That’s right! It’s not like I was after you in particular, I was just messing around like I always do! You’ll tell him that, right?”

Sami blinks in confusion, worrying for a minute that they had figured out that Beef was hiding from them.

“Tell who what-?”

Chris doesn’t seem to be listening to him at this point, "I knew I could count on you kiddo! You're the best, most understanding little dumb ass around these parts!"

He beams at Sami happily, clapping him roughly on the shoulder before pulling him in for a harsh head rub that has Sami gasping for air and laughing out loud, before he panics a bit at Chris pulling him away from the door.

However, Chris’ shaking of him earlier seems to have dislodged Beef’s jacket from the doorjamb, meaning Sami is free. Breathing a sigh of relief, he straightens up shoving Chris off him and huffing exasperatedly as he attempts to fix his now tangled hair.

“Man, I just took a shower, you jerk!” Sami whines, running his fingers through the curls in an attempt to calm the fuzz.

Chris dances away from Sami’s slapping hands, laughing and giving Sami a very obnoxious raspberry.

“Aw, don’t be such a shy baby doll. You look cute with your hair all mussed like that!”

AJ sighs loudly and reaches forward, cramming a handful of chips into Chris’ mouth. Chris turns around to give AJ a look, but AJ seems unperturbed by the silent reprimand.

“Don’t look at me like that. I like you alive, pain in my ass that you are, Chris.”

Chris mutters something that is too low for Sami to hear, and though neither of them have made any indication of it, Sami gets the feeling that he is no longer a part of the conversation. The two seem to have completely forgotten that he is even there, as they appear to be having some sort of bizarre, wordless stare down, that Sami feels like he is intruding on.

He quietly turns away, leaving the two of them to do whatever it is that they are doing, and heads down the hall, stopping only briefly to check that the noises from the room Beef is perhaps still in, have indeed stopped.

Sami is pretty sure, after all, that the window in that room leads to the garage.

**Author's Note:**

> Man, when I go meta I even confuse my self. What the fuck even was that?
> 
> Ah well, they seemed to be having a good time, at least. Except Daniels' there at the end, for a minute. AJ is mean. Or jealous, I can't really tell which. I was attempting to curb them, though it is probably hard to tell. That weird flirting that they do amuses me, but I know them. If I let them, they will take over the whole fic with that shit. AJ and Chris are almost as bad as Sami and Kevin.
> 
> Anyway, this was all exhaustively melodramatic and bizarrely hilarious. I'm chalking that up to a win ^.^
> 
> Hope you enjoyed and have a good week!


End file.
